REFRAME #3: ASK FOR CONSENT. DON’T ASSUME.
“I didn’t hear a ‘no’” Ask for consent. Don’t Assume.
Sometimes people talk about consent as though it is a blurry line that can be difficult to figure out. In reality, we practice asking for consent all day long about things that are much less significant than sex. For example, we ask… “can I have one?” before assuming we can take a french fry from a friend’s plate.
Conversations about consent are no different when it comes to sex. It’s time to Reframe the notion that the absence of a “no” means “yes.” In reality, the only thing that signifies consent is an enthusiastic “YES” from a partner who is sober and able to freely make decisions. Anything less than this is sexual assault.
WHY is asking for consent SO important? (And Won’t It Ruin The Mood?)
Asking for consent is important because sex without consent is sexual assault. Using clear and open communication not only helps to make sure everyone’s on the same page but it also makes sexual experiences hotter. Asking, “how does this feel?”, “should I keep going?”, or “do you want this?” doesn’t have to be awkward. In fact, it can be a total turn on!
Want to learn about other ways to ask for consent?
Check out the CTMO (Consent Turns Me On!) campaign at the Women and Gender Advocacy Center.