Power and Control Wheel
Not all abusive relationships include physical violence. The power and control wheel is a diagram that demonstrates abuse behaviors.
Individually, these actions may not indicate a problem, but when they occur repeatedly, they can be the sign of abuse.
- Making fun of a partner’s clothes, weight, appearance, grades, hobbies, friends, etc
- Minimizing, normalizing or denying abusive behaviors
- Blaming partner for “provoking” abusive actions or telling partner they deserve it
- Using past sexual experience or inexperience to humiliate partner
- Posting or distributing revealing photos without permission
- Following partner or showing up uninvited (to classes / job / home)
- Constantly contacting them when you’re apart (calling, texting, snapchatting, etc)
- Framing jealousy as a sign of love
- Monitoring / hacking into phone, email, Facebook, etc
- Constant accusations of cheating
- Controlling who partner spends time with or pressuring them to choose between spending time as a couple rather than with family or friendsPhysical
- Making all the decisions in the relationship
- Feeling entitled to dictate what your partner wears, eats, or believes
- Forcing or pressuring a partner to consume more alcohol / drugs than they want to
- Threatening to out a person as GLBTQ
- Threatening to hurt pets / family / self if relationship ends
- Hitting, punching, shoving, slapping, kicking, pushing, pulling hair, biting, tripping, or grabbing partner or other objects / doors / walls
- Putting hands around throat or cutting off air supply
- Destroying sentimental items
- Refusing to wear a condom, controlling choices about a partner’s birth control, termination of pregnancy, or STI screening
- Consuming pornography against a partner’s wishes
- Using guilt, pressure, coercion, alcohol, or drugs to get sexThreats
- Making hurtful comments about a partner’s race, sexuality, disability, age, gender, or other marginalized identity
- Threatening to disclose personal information about a partner’s identity• Choosing to date someone of a particular identity because its “exotic” or “cool”
- Believing that a partner’s marginalized identity makes them less valuable / smart / competent / capable
- Discrediting or minimizing a partner’s experiences related to experiencing or witnessing oppressionNot
- Telling partner they aren’t smart enough to be in college
- Signing up for the same classes or sitting outside a partner’s classes in order to monitor them
- Interfering with a partner’s class attendance (i.e., using guilt to make them stay home)• Intentionally starting fights the night before an exam or not allowing them enough time to study
- Preventing partner from applying for jobs / internships / opportunitiesUsing